This episode of Workplace Fairness and Dignity is about bullying behavior: Who are the bully’s targets, how to recognize the behavior, and navigating how to address it with future employers after leaving your job due to bullying. Information can be found at the Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI) at https://workplacebullying.org.
Additional topics include:
WBI’s outline of the profile of typical targets of workplace bullies, and why the person that Human Resources considers the ideal worker is often a bully’s target;
Steps to take and what not to do when dealing with a workplace bully, according to WBI;
How to approach the issue of why you left a place where you dealt with an abusive work environment, and the question of references when addressing questions about your former employer;
How I found some inspiration in a TV character, Mr. Bevis.
Music: Martini Magic, Jazz Trio Jam by Matthew Shaker; Cuban Party Theme by Bobby Cole; Thursday by Jason Donnelly; Fun, Retro, Upbeat by Vladyslav Krotov; Landscape by Adrian Berenguer; Bizet’s Habanera by Keith Anthony Holden; Geminiani Concerto (Public Domain); Get Outen Mine Face Der Funk by Patrick Smith.
This episode of Workplace Fairness and Dignity is about bullying behavior: Who are the bully’s targets, how to recognize the behavior, and navigating how to address it with future employers after leaving your job due to bullying. Information can be found at the Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI) at https://workplacebullying.org.
Additional topics include:
WBI’s outline of the profile of typical targets of workplace bullies, and why the person that Human Resources considers the ideal worker is often a bully’s target;
Steps to take and what not to do when dealing with a workplace bully, according to WBI;
How to approach the issue of why you left a place where you dealt with an abusive work environment, and the question of references when addressing questions about your former employer;
How I found some inspiration in a TV character, Mr. Bevis.
Music: Martini Magic, Jazz Trio Jam by Matthew Shaker; Cuban Party Theme by Bobby Cole; Thursday by Jason Donnelly; Fun, Retro, Upbeat by Vladyslav Krotov; Landscape by Adrian Berenguer; Bizet’s Habanera by Keith Anthony Holden; Geminiani Concerto (Public Domain); Get Outen Mine Face Der Funk by Patrick Smith.
MUSIC: Martini Magic – Jazz Trio Jam, by Matthew Shaker
Hello, and welcome to Workplace Fairness and Dignity!
My name is Cecilia Akuffo, and I am from the Boston area. In my first podcast, From Fired to Fired Up I talked about my story, about how I worked in Human Resources for years as a staffing recruiter and was fired from a job I loved because I spoke up about bullying behavior at work. I created this podcast to promote the normalization of workplace fairness and dignity.
28s:
Welcome to Part 2 of this subject. On part 1 I talked about bullying based on information from the Workplace Bullying Institute and how to recognize bullying. On Part 2 I’m going to cover who are the bully’s targets, how organizations respond to employees who raise concerns about bullying, and navigating how to address it with future employers after leaving the bullying environment.
The profile of bullying targets is this… The targets, WBI says, tend to have the following profile. It lists the characteristics that they ranked based on the WBI surveys that asked bullies about their targeting [Correction: asks the bullied about their targeting].
The very first description is actually resonates with me, because it describes my experience exactly. I knew what was happening in my personal situation in the position I was fired from because I stood up for myself, but it’s really quite a revelation to have people I don’t know describe word for word, the way that I described my own experience in journals at the time and in personal conversations with friends as well.
Regarding the list of characteristics they talk about:
The independent: This person refuses to be subservient. They say, “Bullying is a bit like slavery”, perpetrators feel entitled to dominate others. Much of their work-life is controlled by their bullies. When the slave challenges the master, reprisal is swift and severe. Targets who insist on their dignity are branded “uppity”, provocative, or threatening. And people like that, quote, “deserve” to be abused and to be kept in their place.
In my first podcast, I described my firing as just that. And I hadn’t even spent much time on WBI at the time beyond looking at their workplace survey results, which I have discussed in my first podcast. This description though, is how I described the dismissive disrespectful way in which I was fired, I also realized that I was fired for not knowing my place, in other words, for being “uppity”. About the work conditions leading up to my firing, what I had said to my white colleagues at the time was that I felt the supervisors were two people literally on my back riding me like a donkey, and whacking me with a stick. What I said to the black folks in my life was that I felt like I was a slave on a plantation. Never in my life had I ever felt that way on the job.
The thing about this language that WBI has used, or is referencing based on what they heard from bullying targets is, while race wasn’t mentioned at this particular point the language is racially tinged language. The key terms are uppity, plantation and slave, and finally threatening. The idea of being uppity that is historically how some white people thought and vocalized how they saw Black people who didn’t know their place. What exactly would that place be for those people? Well, to stay in their own neighborhood. To not be too ambitious on the job. To not challenge white people in any way whether it is to speak up, or to think you can walk through the wrong neighborhood, and on and on.
This also relates to the word “threatening”. Black people in the workplace are often considered threatening when they speak up. Again, by people who are uncomfortable with their presence there. When others speak up, it is not a threat, but as a Black person the interpretation of your speaking up takes on a more ominous meaning. In other words, all is well as long as you stay in your place. The language of the plantation: that’s you’re expected to be grateful for a job, no matter how abusive the conditions, and anything beyond gratitude, well, you just don’t know how good you have it. While there are bullying targets of all races, the inclusion of this language suggests to me that the Namies spoke with a large number of Black bullied targets. I’m curious enough that I intend to reach out to the Institute to get some background on that to see whether this is the case or whether I am far off, and hopefully I will get a response.
4:24 MUSIC: Cuban Party Theme, by Bobby Cole
Back to the profile of the bullying target. Targets tend to know the work better than their bullies. They’re targeted not for their weakness but for their strength. They say the petty tyrants who bully prefer to bully those who make them look incompetent by comparison. Much of bullying is driven by the bullies’ envy and jealousy.
Targets are well-liked by co-workers customers, and contacts. They are known for kindness and generosity.
Targets are decent people. They wrongly assume that everyone has an ethical orientation. Clearly abusive people exploit and manipulate. This reality is unimaginable in the targets’ worldview. Unless exposed to this type of abuse previously they recognize the behaviors late and they remain in denial until things deteriorate. They say traditional whistleblowers tend to be ethical and honest to an extreme, and targets are considered whistleblowers if they report the incidents.
They ignore the political games, including the contemporary workplace with its cutthroat relationships. And they say targets come to work, to do work. Bullies come to mess with others’ lives and livelihoods.
But this is the best part. WBI says those five characteristics define the ideal employee, according to HR stated criteria, and that is also the person most likely to be targeted for abuse in the workplace.
5:43 MUSIC: Cuban Party Theme, by Bobby Cole
WBI lists 14 steps in total that cover the process of recognizing if bullying is occurring. They talk about what to do and what not to do. The aftermath of bullying, and a discussion of what accountability – from the bully and the organization – would look like. They discuss how to talk with future employers about your departure if you have left the abusive organization and the bully behind.
6:04 I want to talk a little about moving on to another employer and the question of references. All the experience of the WBI principals can’t be underestimated. They are experts and know the drill better than any. That said, this is what I will say based on my experience working in HR. I have worked with hundreds of job seekers, and many many managers also at all levels of the organizations where I worked. I have been the person calling references for hiring managers and for C-Suite executives whom I’ve helped with hiring candidates, including helping hire candidates up to the executive level. I’ve also been the person that “enforced” policy, for lack of a better word, on required references as an HR representative for the organization.
Some people may say, “Well, Cecilia, you’re vocal about your experience, is that what you expect from me?” And I would say, look, I started this podcast and announced my firing to the world. So, I am flipping the traditional script on its head, so that’s my path. But for other people, I would tell them this...
What future employers are really looking for is your judgment. They want to see how you represent yourself. If you don’t spend time trashing your employer, but you provide as diplomatic an answer as you can manage about why you have moved on, people get it. I know what people say when the doors are closed and the candidate has left after the interview. People know that there are supervisors from hell out there, they likely have experienced one, but they want to see how you navigate your explanation about your separation from your previous employer. You could always just determine ahead of time the standard sentence that you’re going to give them about why you moved on and you can stick with that. If an interviewer tries to force you into divulging more, that’s not a good sign. As a candidate you are allowed to have boundaries that should be respected.
In terms of listing former employment, an employer usually wants to know, as far as full-time work, they usually want to know every place you worked. That’s just them doing due diligence. But you could certainly leave off an employer from your application, but you would need to be prepared to talk about any gap in your employment. Bear in mind, if there is a gap you can’t explain, or don’t want to explain, they may use their imagination which may not be the best thing for you. But, if you don’t want to talk it or you don’t want to list an employer it’s your choice to make. I’ve worked with candidates who chose to leave a certain employer off their resume, and if I found out about it somehow, whether through my research on LinkedIn or otherwise, I have respected their wishes to not elaborate on the situation. It depends on the individual you’re working with but, you shouldn’t be forced to discuss anything you’re not comfortable with.
8:39 MUSIC: Cuban Party Theme, by Bobby Cole
WBI tells you what to ask when interviewing for the next job, and how to research the company’s policies that may be posted online. Also, something I hadn’t thought about myself, is they say to look up whether there is a record of lawsuits filed against the employer in state or federal court, as complaints are public. Court clerks can assist the search for the employer as a defendant.
WBI does name the way things work. They say that your supervisor will probably be called, and part of the mistaken and uncritical acceptance of management’s portrayal is that the supervisor’s words will carry weight over the person supervised. They will call HR who won’t provide enough information, and they will then access your supervisor. I have seen hiring managers push for a reference form a certain employer, but references are provided at your discretion as a candidate. And no one should push you to provide a reference that you are not comfortable providing. Besides, for someone who had such little character, can a bullying supervisor really be trusted to speak on your behalf? This just seems like another way to give that person that caused your leaving the employment the final feeling of power they so crave.
In the work that I’ve done in HR, I’ve had managers who asked for numerous references from candidates. Three references is standard, and they shouldn’t all have to be from supervisors as long as one or two are. Any more like five references is really asking for a lot. Even at the executive level five references is more than enough to provide insight into someone’s historical performance.
No one can “make” you give a reference you don’t want to. It should be understood that the references that you give are going to speak well on your behalf. And when people do get references that speak negatively I have heard it said that, “Well, that candidate certainly has poor judgement” and that’s also a strike against them.
10:30 MUSIC: Landscape, by Adrian Berenguer
If you have been reasonable in providing a number of quality references, meaning one or two supervisors and an additional reference from a colleague or two, this should be respected.
WBI talks about what action steps NOT to take; they say:
· Don’t confront the bully;
· Don’t complain the bully’s boss, as they may already know what’s happening and they may have provided permission for the bad treatment, whether tacit or outright; this is particularly when the bully is your supervisor;
· They say document everything;
· WBI says don’t go to HR; they say what HR doesn’t tell you is that they are there to support management; and so WBI says “alert HR last”.
Let me just say a little bit about how HR works. In organizations Human Resources does not directly contribute to organizational profits, like, say Finance which can make investments, which then create earnings for the company. Human Resource departments tend to be what they call “Cost Centers”. What that means is other departments contribute dollars to fund Human Resources. That means the heads of other departments in an organization are almost a certain type of boss to the leaders in HR who then are indebted to those who fund their existence. Obviously this can create a conflict for HR leaders who are required to confront bad behaviors from the leaders who quote-unquote “invest” or contribute to the existence of HR. And, as WBI says, HR is there to protect the company above all. Even where there are conscientious HR practitioners, and I have worked with many people like that, their ability to change the bad behavior of management is limited.
Ultimately, many of WBI’s recommendations have to do with taking care of your emotional health and preparing yourself to move on from that job with the abuser and the bully. The reality is that workers, especially exempt workers in particular, exempt workers have no protection or rights of expectation of employee dignity unless it is prioritized by the organization. Bargaining Unit employees tend to have some level of due process before they can be terminated. The discriminatory laws that people often think of regarding workplace rights, in practice, they really don’t work as much as you would think, in court.
12:53 MUSIC: Bizet’s Habanera, by Keith Anthony Holden
Ultimately, based on what I’ve gotten from the WBI, the work that they do, and based on my own experience working in HR, the ways bullies are dealt with depends on the organization.
I’ve worked in places where bullying and disrespect of employees weren’t tolerated and that was made clear by the company. In places where bullying did occur there were some people in positions of power who were willing to address that behavior, but they were in the minority. Often bullies have other people afraid of them, or they are the ones in position of power above the people, like people in HR who would usually address bullying behavior. As WBI says, bringing the problem to HR or to the bully’s supervisor is sometimes not the best course of action, especially if the supervisor is like-minded with the bully.
The best way to know who can be trusted, I would say, is to know historically who in the organization has a good reputation that you can speak with, and have a good conversation about what’s happening and it may be someone in HR, sometimes it is. But you just really need to be able to know that whether you talk with someone who has experience or knowledge with a particular person that may be able to give you some good advice.
That’s really unfulfilling and it may be anti-climactic, but the truth of the matter is an organization that allows bullying is tacitly condoning it. One thing I can share with you that I have learned from my research is that if two or more people complain about a certain behavior, they could have a whistleblower case. That said if the organization is not invested in change – and by that I mean they don’t really care, the employees raising an issue could lose their jobs in the meantime, even if they win a case in the long run in the court system, but that would be a cost to consider.
14:36 MUSIC: Gemiani Concerto Grosso, Worldwide Public Domain
After I put this information together, I realized, wow, I’m not really leaving the listeners with much hope. But I did find some inspiration, and maybe you will find some light in what I have to say. But my inspiration came from the old television show, The Twilight Zone. In the episode I watched recently, it was called Mr. Bevis, Mr. Bevis was a bow-tie-wearing, checkered suit kind of guy. He started his day by tumbling down the stairs past his landlady who just about rolls her eyes at him. He joins in with the neighborhood boys in the street who are playing catch before school with an old football. He drives an old beat-up car he loves. When he walks into the office his other colleagues light up and greet him. They’re happy to see him – he brings some cheer to an otherwise drab office. On this day, he wrecks his car, his boss fires him, he is evicted for being consistently late in paying his rent. At the bar where he goes to drink his troubles away, he meets his guardian angel who tells him he can get back his car, his job, his living quarters.
Bevis agrees to try this. As he goes through the transformation he learns that for things to go his way, he now has to wear a dark suit, he has a fancy new sports car (that he refers to as tiny). The neighborhood boys no longer want him to join in catch, they ignore him. He goes to the office in his dark suit, the colleagues barely notice him when he walks in – he’s got a different personality now -- the boss now instead of firing him gives him a raise – he has become the proper company man. His landlady smiles widely at him when he arrives home, because now rather than being late with his rent he’s paid in advance. The guardian angel explains all these things have happened because he is not the same person he was.
But, he asks his guardian angel to change things back to the way he was. The angel says, yes, but you’ll lose your job. Your wreck of a car will be wrecked again, and you’ll still be evicted. Beavis says, yes, but it won’t be the first time. Besides, I want to be who I was, I liked that guy. I like to be liked, I like playing with the kids, I like my loud clothes, my beat-up car. In other words it comes with the territory. Here’s where the positive comes in, for me.
After my recent experience on the job, I was ready to put up additional walls. I really am a pretty good judge of character, but I had been taken in by the seeming “niceness” of the people who turned out to be not who they represented themselves as being. I wanted to put up a wall that would make some people have to prove their sincerity to me. That extra wall would have changed who I am. It would have changed something in me and not for the better. It would have been a sort of poison in me, I think. The truth is, I don’t need to be liked, but I do like being liked if I’m liked because I’m a decent human being who treats others the way I want to be treated.
I like that people enjoy working with me and that I bring positivity to the workplace. That’s one of the things that makes bullies attack, right? Competency with decency; the fact that the targets are well-liked is an irritant to them. To change from that would be to let them win. So, I decided to keep the lesson but not the poison. Maybe I have more to learn about reading people’s true characters, even at my age, but I will continue to be my best self. And I found that decision really incredibly freeing. If you get a chance, watch that Twilight Zone episode (Mr. Bevis, Season 1, Episode 33).
18:02 MUSIC: Get outen mine face der funk, by Patrick Smith
Thank you for listening. Tune in next time.